6969
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: After creating a time-traveling spaceship, Chika "Sexbang" Takami and "Ninja You" Watanabe go on a sexy journey to the sexiest year: 6969.


**AN: It's official. This is the dumbest thing I've written to date. XD**

**Anyway, if you don't know what 6969 is, it's an eight-and-a-half minute song by Ninja Sex Party. It has a music video. The only major difference between that song and this story is that this story focuses exclusively on lesbians.**

**In case anyone's wondering why I did this, well... I realized I'd posted 68 stories on this site, and I felt a need to do something "special" for the 69th. Was it immature? Yep. Stupid? Definitely. Did I do it anyway? Oh yeah. :P**

* * *

Deep within the heart of her laboratory-ryokan, Chika Sexbang put the finishing touches on her latest invention. She turned to her best friend and partner-in-crime, Ninja You.

"Hey You-chan, I made a cool time-traveling spaceship. Wanna ride?" she asked.

Decked out head to toe in an Uchicchi costume, You did her best to nod. "Yeah!" she said enthusiastically. "...wait a minute, am I riding you, or the spaceship?"

"Come inside and find out," flirted Chika with a wink as she disappeared into the ship.

"Eh?! Chika-chan, don't tease me like that!"

A few minutes later and their ship was blasting through space as they prepared to travel through time.

"Wow! I can't believe I'm actually piloting a spaceship!" cried Ninja You in delight. She paused her excitement as a thought occurred to her. "Though actually, now that I think about it, where are we going?"

Chika smirked. "Isn't it obvious? You-chan, set a sexy course for the sexiest year: 6969."

"Yousoro!" cheered You. She tapped a button and the spaceship entered the time vortex, auto-piloting them to their temporal destination.

From within, both girls watched the window in awe as streaks of multi-chromatic light blurred past in the form of a perfectly circular corridor, signalling their passage through the continuum of eternity. It was beautiful. It was breathtaking.

It was also very boring.

"So what do we do now?" asked the brunette, idly flicking the flux capacitor.

A wide grin crossed Chika's face as she responded. "Now we turn off the artificial gravity and break into ninety pounds of space lube!"

* * *

As the spaceship exited the time vortex, Chika gave You one last kiss before helping the brunette don her Uchicchi head. She sighed wistfully. "I wish you didn't have to wear that suit all the time..."

"Me too. But you know what will happen if I don't wear it," replied You with a hint of warning.

Chika scoffed. "You-chan, it's the year 6969. I'm sure they can handle it."

The brunette shifted uncomfortably. "Well, still. Let's not chance it."

"Fine, fine, have it your way. Now let's land this thing and see how far humanity's come!" Chika giggled. "Get it? How far humanity's-"

"I got it, Chika-chan."

* * *

"Future banzai!" exclaimed Chika as she leapt out of the ship. The ginger had expected to plunge into an ocean of whipped cream and chocolate sauce with bikini-clad lesbians frolicking on a nearby beach, but reality was far harsher as her face met concrete.

You hopped down next to her and gave her a one over. "You're really lucky you've got such a hard head, or that might have really hurt you," remarked the brunette.

Chika could only groan as she picked herself up. Brushing off the dust, she looked around. "Wait! This place isn't sexy at all!" cried the ginger in horror.

"And this robot sign says all human touch is outlawed, by order of the Tit Elders," added You. She recoiled as she caught sight of some locals wearing some disgustingly unfashionable full-length pants and loose-fitting turtlenecks.

"This cannot be allowed to stand! We must speak with the Council of Tit Elders!" declared Chika.

* * *

The inner chamber of the Council of Tit Elders was a serene, tranquil place. Within, the three Tit Elders sat at their massive podiums while they filled out monotonous paperwork and performed other meaningless busywork, all for the sake of turning the massive bureaucratic wheels that the future had become. The hallowed silence of the chamber was deafening.

Then Chika kicked the door in.

"Tit Elders! I demand you reinstate human contact and let people have sex!" she shouted out.

At her podium, an anger mark appeared on Dia's forehead. "I refuse. Our society is the most productive in the entire history of the human race."

"But everyone's miserable!"

"They'll get over it," snapped Dia as she called for a cadre of soldiers. "Guards, arrest these interlopers and send them to a reeducation center."

"Like hell you are! If it's a fight you want, then get ready for a sexy fight!"

With that, Chika grabbed You and the two quickly ran off, the guards chasing after them.

* * *

Back in their spaceship, Chika and You took off and began burning sky as they determined how to kick start the sexual revolution.

"This isn't right," lamented Chika. "We need to show these people the joy of sex!"

As their ship outran the lasers being shot at them, their sensors locked onto a beautiful maiden with long red hair reading an ancient book that the Council of Tit Elders would certainly have banned and disposed of had they known of its existence.

Chika's jaw dropped at the magnificence of this redhead. "And we'll start with her!" she declared.

* * *

"Hey you!" called Chika as she ran up to Riko, You following. "You clearly have some knowledge about sex if that yuri doujin is anything to go by. Let's have a threesome!"

"...excuse me?!" exclaimed the redhead in confusion.

"We need to have sex now!" declared Chika, "And we need to show it all across the Earth to encourage everyone to rise up against the tyrannical Council of Tit Elders!"

"You want to what?! Are you some kind of deviant exhibitionist?!" shouted Riko.

"I don't know, but there's no better time to find out!" declared the ginger. "Now gimme some sugar!"

"Wait wait wait wait wait!" cried a flailing Riko as she blocked Chika's first attempt at a kiss. "You can't just spring this on a girl and expect her to give in so readily!"

Chika blinked. "...you can't?"

"No!"

"I'm actually with her on this one Chika-chan," said You.

"Thank you," said Riko as she turned to the brunette. "...Why are you wearing a walrus suit? Are you a furry or something?"

"No way!" denied You vehemently. "This special Uchicchi suit is the only way to properly contain my sexiness. Without it, every girl within a hundred mile radius would orgasm instantly!"

"It's true," agreed Chika. "I myself have fallen victim to her overpowering sexiness on numerous occasions, and it's only recently that I've gained a measure of resistance."

"Now I actually have to work to get Chika-chan off," remarked You.

"That's... good to know?" said Riko hesitantly.

"You bet it is. After all, practice makes perfect!" She winked through her Uchicchi suit. Riko couldn't see it, but she got the point.

"That's all well and good but I still don't know about this," dithered the redhead.

Chika was quickly getting frustrated. "Come on! You have two sexy and beautiful women who want to have a threesome with you! How are we still talking?!"

"But I'm not a lesbian!"

Chika and You sent her deadpan stares. "This is the future. Everyone's a lesbian."

Riko couldn't refute that logic. Anxiously acquiescing, she readied herself to receive some love.

As Chika gave Riko her first ever kiss, You removed her helmet.

Riko's eyes widened and she gasped as she beheld the face of pure sexiness. Instantly, orgasmic pleasure surged through her body, and she couldn't help but fall weakly to her knees and let loose a lustful moan of satisfaction as she reached climax. Unbeknownst to her, so did every other woman in a hundred mile radius.

When she regained her senses, Chika and You had already stripped themselves and were gazing at her expectantly. Riko tore off her clothes and pounced.

* * *

A good while later saw Chika, You, and Riko sprawled out together, the redhead between her time-traveling companions as they basked in the afterglow.

"Wow..." sighed Riko in satisfaction. "That was... phenomenal."

Chika cuddled up closer, nuzzling against Riko's neck as she tightened her hold on her lovers. "It was," she agreed. "Right, You-chan?"

"Definitely," agreed the brunette. "And it looks like the rest of the world thought so too."

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" asked Riko nervously.

"Isn't it obvious? People are rediscovering the joys of sex!" answered You. She quickly checked an instrument readout. "Huh. It seems a multi-billion person orgy has broken out across the globe."

"Yep! And it's all thanks to our livestream!" Chika exclaimed happily, pointing to the cameras they'd somehow found time to setup to broadcast their tryst to the world of the future. "After accumulating billions of subs, we are now the biggest content creator on NewTube!"

Riko's face went pale as a ghost as the realization of what she'd just partaken in hit her. "E-E-Everyone... Everyone in the entire world saw me doing all those things?!" she shrieked in horror.

"Don't forget about the people on the international space station," added Chika helpfully.

Riko needed a minute to process that, her mind shutting down as it experienced the blue screen of death. Chika and You exchanged concerned glances, the former poking the redhead's cheek to try to get a reaction. Eventually, she got one.

"SHAMELESS!" screamed Riko as she channeled her inner Umi. She jumped out of bed and ran, absolutely heedless of her nakedness as she disappeared into the distance.

"Riko-chan, wait!" chorused Chika and You. After quickly putting on their clothes, they ran after her.

* * *

But instead of their favorite redhead, the two time travelers ran into a familiar trio of sinister hooded figures.

"Oh, hey Tit Elders, how's it going?" greeted Chika.

"You!" Dia snarled as she tossed off her hood. "You dare to upend the brilliant clockwork precision of my utopia and replace it with this debased display of vulgarity?!" she screeched. She hefted a massive laser shotgun and pumped it, ejecting a D battery from the chamber. "I'll exterminate you myself!"

"RUN!" cried Chika.

She and You scrambled away, the brunette managing to run quite well in her Uchicchi suit. But alas, escape was not to be, for the trio of pursuers cornered the pair of time travelers in an alleyway.

"It's over for you, Chika Sexbang!" shouted Dia. "I may not be able to stop this revolution you've created, but your life is forfeit!"

Just then, one of the other Tit Elders grabbed Dia and threw her over her shoulder.

"Wha?! Kanan-san, what are you doing?!"

"Give it up Dia, you've had your fun. It's time for things to go back to normal around here anyway," said Kanan as she carried her off.

As Dia continued to rage at this betrayal, the third Tit Elder threw back her hood to reveal a shock of blonde hair.

"Thanks for taking care of the sexual revolution for us," said Mari. "And don't worry about Dia. Kanan and I will be taking good care of her for a very long time."

"Um... you're welcome?" replied Chika.

Mari nodded happily before running off after Kanan.

Chika Sexbang and Ninja You looked at each other. "I have to say, in retrospect, that was easier than I thought," remarked the ginger.

* * *

Later...

Chika and You stood atop a large tower, looking out over the industrial cityscape as lilies began blooming in earnest, a welcome sign that lesbians around the globe were rediscovering the depths of their passions.

The ginger sighed happily. "We did a good thing today, You-chan."

"I'll say! Good deed of the century? Or best deed of the century?" The two fist-bumped in celebration, matching grins adorning their faces. "Still, there's one thing we have to resolve."

"What's that?"

"What do we do now?"

Chika hummed in thought as she turned to look back to Riko, still bundled up under the covers of the bed with a blissful smile on her face as visions of Chika and You ran through her dreams. "It wouldn't be fair to Riko-chan if we just left," she said. "And I've kind of grown attached to her."

The brunette nodded. "Me too. Maybe we could... take her with us?"

Chika brought a hand to her chin in thought. "Hmm..."

* * *

When Riko awoke, the first thing she noticed was that she was floating. The second thing she noticed was that she could see the Earth outside the window. That's when it hit her.

"Why did you bring me into space?!" she shrieked, flailing wildly as she somehow contorted herself into doing a barrel roll.

"We needed help using up all this space lube," said Chika nonchalantly as she held up a massive, partially used tube. "Turns out ninety pounds gets you a lot of mileage."

"Besides," added You, "Don't you wanna see what it's like to have a threesome without gravity?"

"...I suppose you've got me interested," admitted the redhead.

"Hooray! To the velvet room!" cheered Chika.

"Yousoro!"

**~END~**

.

.

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**OMAKE: Blast from the Past**

"I'm telling you Zuramaru, this one will work!" declared Yoshiko confidently.

"You mean like the last seventeen attempts, zura?" asked Hanamaru disbelievingly.

Yoshiko pouted angrily. "Well this time I mean it! Now get in the time machine and let's go!"

One Successful Time-Travel Later...

"Mirai zura!"

.

**OMAKE: Back to School**

"I'm really starting to regret coming here," moaned Yoshiko as her head slumped to the desk. "I can't even pass regular high school! How am I supposed to graduate from a reeducation center of the future?!"

At the desk next to her, Hanamaru sent her a dispassionate glance. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you did your fallen angel routine, zura."

"It's your fault for sticking the feather in my hair!"

Just then, the classroom door opened and in walked an adorable pigtailed redhead. Her mere appearance halted the arguing instantly.

"H-Hello there," stuttered Ruby. "M-My name is Ruby Kurosawa, a-and I'll be in charge of your reeducation and rehabilitation. So... um... let's all get along!"

.

**OMAKE: The Stunning Beauty**

Yoshiko and Hanamaru looked on, awed at her angelic beauty.

"You're gorgeous!" exclaimed Yoshiko, standing up suddenly.

"PIGI!" yelped Ruby. Instinctively, she reached for the taser at her side and sent a hearty jolt of electricity into the blunette.

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Yoshiko-chan!" cried Hanamaru.

"Wah! I-I'm so sorry! Onee-chan gave me this taser and said to use it on dangerous deviants!"

Yoshiko whimpered as she lay on the floor in agony. "Clearly... my cursed luck has struck again...!"

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**OMAKE: _Another_ Blast from the Past**

In the aftermath of the downfall of the Council of Tit Elders, Yoshiko and Hanamaru were quite ready to return to their own time period.

"W-Wait!" cried Ruby as she ran after them. "You can't leave yet! Neither of you have graduated!"

The time travelers exchanged a look. "Um, Ruby-chan, I don't think these reeducation programs are still applicable after a revolution, zura."

"Yeah. Besides, we want to go home. Mama says if I'm not back by seven, I'm grounded," added Yoshiko.

"Onee-chan says it's not good for me to leave things unfinished," said Ruby. She frowned in thought, before an idea occurred to her. "I know! Why don't I go with you?"

"You want to come with us?!" chorused the pair incredulously.

"Yeah! I can teach you everything you need to know to thrive in the future!" declared the redhead.

"Are you sure? The future's become significantly... _sexier_ since we've arrived, and we didn't even have anything to do with it," said the blunette.

Ruby nodded emphatically."I'm sure! Just call me your sexy home tutor!" She struck a pose. "Ehe~ Ehe~"

("Wow. It took the author more than 3 years to make that joke, zura," observed Hanamaru as she broke the fourth wall. "That's pretty sad.")

(Yes it is, Hanamaru... yes it is...)

.

* * *

**AN: The sexy home tutor bit is still pretty prevalent, so a quick google or youtube search can get you a source. :)  
**


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